I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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