And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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