It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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