She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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