Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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