the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
how drunk are you?
Several
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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