i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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