we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
