I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
She bit a glass in half.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
