I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
