It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
