Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
He kissed a someone with a penis
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
