talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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