if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
