Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I think I just sharted jello shots
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