Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
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