the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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