Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
My breasts were aching with rage.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
