True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
You ate ashes out of my bong
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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