this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whose parrot is this?
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
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