She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize