I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize