im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
