apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
