Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I just had sex on a roof
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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