No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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