You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I just forgot I was standing up.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
