She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
