i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
