Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
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