tonight lets celebrate not being married
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
