Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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