how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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