I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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