are you still at the devil's house?
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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