I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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