did you get engaged???
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
