So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
