I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
