omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
