shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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