she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
last night I used snow as a chaser
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