I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Yo dont text me then not text me
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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