3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
