it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
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