im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
