We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
