I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
