Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
