We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Randomize
