Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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