christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
