Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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