big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
