I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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