we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
