How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize