Umm I'm too high to move.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
