I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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